Self-Sabotage at Work - You need to know what to avoid

By Kathy Simmons

The workplace is full of wannabe stars that become wayward meteors. Why?

Because they unwittingly sabotage themselves! To ensure that your career does not crash and burn, try to conquer the following self-sabotage culprits.

Refusing to Look at Blind Spots

Our early relationships determine how we relate with peers (other children) and with authority figures (teachers and parents). These experiences eventually affect how we get along with others in the workplace. Employees who are unaware of their tendencies often misperceive, misunderstand, and alienate others at work.

Dr. Larry Gard, a Chicago-based clinical psychologist, tells the story of a former colleague. "Adam" struggled through residency training and had a strained relationship with his supervisor. He found her to be cold, critical, and demanding. After a few counseling sessions, Adam had a realization: Life with his harshly critical mother had subconsciously colored the way he viewed his supervisor. Over time, he came to view supervisor feedback as well intentioned and supportive--not hurtful and damaging.

Self-awareness is the key. It takes a good deal of time and effort to recognize and respect what is really important to you. Without this understanding, you will repeat self-destructive patterns and your personal and professional relationships will suffer.

The Lone Ranger Syndrome

Rich Fettke, Master certified coach and author of FOCUS: A Guide to Clarity & Achievement (fettke.com), finds that many employees think it is a sign of weakness to ask for support. "Contrary to our cultural mystique," Fettke explains, "there's really no such thing as self-made success. It's virtually impossible to achieve success on your own. Everyone needs partners for support and inspiring give-and-take.

You can set up a 'success partnership' with a friend, co-worker, or professional coach. Success partners can help clarify what you want and help you prepare for opportunities. Success partnerships differ from business partnerships, which are often created to invest money or time into a specific goal. "Success partners meet on a regular basis to support each other's individual goals personally as well as professionally," Fettke says. "They motivate each other to take action and stay focused on their most important goals by listening, questioning, and brainstorming.

"Finding your own success partner is a great way to form a coaching relationship without the expense of hiring a personal coach. However, the high-powered combination of a week-to-week success partner plus a skilled professional coach will shift your goals into overdrive."

Refusing to Play Politics

San Francisco area therapist and career consultant Julie Anderson, PhD, counsels employees to reject this myth: "Hard work will be rewarded by your manager and will eventually result in a promotion." Many people do excellent work, only to be "rewarded" with increased expectations for future productivity.

Anderson advises clients to work hard and pay attention to the political landscape at work. She goes on: "Every organization, large or small, public or private, has an inherent hierarchy that is made up of people at the high end who have the power to make things happen and people on the low end with no power to influence the course of events."

Interestingly, those with power are not necessarily the people with titles. Someone, high or low, always has the boss's ear. If you are not this person, you should be on their good side if you hope to be recognized and promoted.

Pretending to Be a Super Employee

Business coach and professional organizer Shannon Seek warns against over-filling your plate. "By forgetting to be human," she says, "and not robots, people sabotage career success by saying yes too often." When employees spread themselves too thin, "they are scattered, look unprofessional, burn out, get sick, and destroy their reputations due to lack of follow-through."

One of Seek's recent clients, Annette, was afflicted with Super Employee Syndrome. Annette had to change her ways--or else destroy everything that she had worked so hard to build. "Up until that point," Seek recalls, Annette "wanted change, knew something needed to change, yet couldn't fathom doing things much differently." Finally, she found the strength to share what was going on and admit that she needed help. Seek asked her to follow this self-help formula:

1. List and prioritize all to-do's.
2. Determine how long each activity takes, then multiply each estimate twice or three times for a more realistic projection.
3. Leave 25 percent of the day free for unexpected interruptions.

Annette quickly applied these principles, empowered by her newfound perspective and focus. She is on the road to long-term success today--just by being more realistic and fair with herself. So, avoid these common self-sabotage traps:

You'll become a rising star at work and have more fun along the way!

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Kathy Simmons, assistant vice president at a major U.S. insurance company, has written many career articles for The Wall Street Journal, Working Woman, Executive Update, Succeed, Career Magazine, and other publications. As Kathy reminds her readers: "We are all capable of change and growth; we just need to know where to begin." (Blaine Lee)